Monday, April 6, 2020

I guess it's time I finally let it all out...

March 12, 2020

MARCH 12, 2020

March TWELTH of the year 2020

25 days

TWENTY-FIVE days

Dislike.   Dislike.  Dislike.  REALLLLLLLY Dislike.


March 12th was the last day I saw my students.   COVID-19 has made it's way to the United States with no signs of slowing down, let alone remorse.

At first... we anticipated being off for one week.    And then the Governor told us it was two.

And now... "indefinitely"

The first week off was an adjustment for everyone.   We weren't planning on instruction at that time and in a way, it was somewhat like a break.   I missed my students, but foolishly thought I'd be seeing them in no time at all.   Then we started working with "Continuity of Education" planning.   Online learning.    It seemed things were changing every other day, and then every single day, and in some cases... literally by the hour. 


I have said this before, and I'll say it again (and probably again... and again...):  I work for an amazing district.    Teaching online wasn't too hard of a transition in the literal sense.  It was more emotionally difficult.   When you're raised to be a Constructivist... and then start teaching online... oye. 

Learning Zoom was interesting and now it's something we're all quite comfortable with.   We have an amazing administrative team district wide.   My building admins are freaking rockstars.   My colleagues are spot-on awesome and hilarious. 

What makes teaching online difficult is the EMOTION. 

On the first day of "COE" I was so excited to see a student log in for my office hours on Zoom!   I was hype!   Alright!   I got my first "customer" LOL!    I was pumped!

When I asked him how he was and what I could help him with .... I had to hold my tears in.   He said to me, "Oh, I'm good Mrs. Geib.   I just really wanted to see you."  Bless his heart.    I didn't teach one darn thing during that Zoom session.   We just chatted like we normally would. 

When I logged off, I sobbed like a baby.   What in the world is wrong with me!?!?   I checked my girlie app.   Nope.   Not PMS.   I'm not over-tired.   Wasn't even hangry.   I was just legit SAD.   I'm not getting to give my kids fist bumps, high fives, or hugs.   I'm not able to sit right next to them and work things out.    I'm not there for the funny non-verbals and we're not having the magic that seems to happen in our little part of PHS.   

And then when this happened... the Internetz went CRAY-CRAY


I should have completely stayed away from social media at that point.   But did I?   No.   Of course not.   Idiot move.   I noticed that friends of friends were commenting about teachers being off in summer with pay and off now... and man that boiled my blood.    Stages of Grief?   Perhaps.   So I just wrote from the heart...


I received a lot of positive messages/texts from this post.  I spent time in prayerful reflection and it just really was hitting me that literally the best thing we can do right now... is nothing.  Stay home.  Wash your hands.   Be smart.   

These times are confusing.   I mean seriously... this paired with the crazy weather has my tiny human decorating for Christmas.   I presently have two mini Christmas trees up (and on) in the house.   She put one in the hallway upstairs and the other "had" to be in my bedroom.   Smile and nod, folks.  Smile and nod.


And in addition to the crazy.... no one seems to be LISTENING to what needs to be done in order to fix this problem.   You know... like staying HOME!!!    Seriously, a huge percentage of our county, let alone nation, should be getting a big fat "F" in "listens to and follows directions."     For example... this fool.


This picture was taken in front of my house.   
What you don't see is the man behind the ambulance.   
What you don't hear is him SCREAMING and what you don't see further down the road is the other guy and a bunch of emergency responders looking for a leg.   Yes.   A leg.    
These men decided it would be "fun" to race one another around the blocks in different directions to see if their paths would cross at the same location.   Drunk physics?   Perhaps.  
The man going up the road lost control and hit a parked car across the street.    This caused a major wipe out and some sort of ninja science flying man stuff.    I'm not exactly sure how the leg came off... but it did.   Gross.   And might I add... stupid.

I've also had to stop watching the news because it's only going to make me need to be medicated and all I see anyway is this:

And in case you missed it from this image ^^^^^^. They are not standing six feet apart!   Tisk tisk!

I digress...

Teaching online is definitely not the same, and we're still working out some of the quirks of it all.  Sometimes I wonder if I would have done anything differently on the 12th.   Would there have been more hugs?   More laughs?   More heart to hearts?   You truly do not know what tomorrow holds.

The naively optimistic part of me dreams of a cure, a vaccine, and being back in my classroom in no time at all. 

For now, I'm juggling teaching my normal content, with additional responsibilities and also teaching second grade and pre-school.





I'm trying to find a groove as best I can but the reality is my groove happens in #phs117

My "peeps" (look at that... an Easter pun!) are my students.

So to my dear loves of #phs117 please know this:
I love you.   This is definitely going to be a true test of your executive functioning skills.   
Please know that even though I'm not "there" and you're not "here"...I'm HERE. 
I'm only a click away.  You know how to find me. 
Take care of yourself and your family. 
Make good decisions.   Take advantage of the food offerings the district has.   
Wash your hands frequently and take time to read something of interest each day. 
Write.     Reflect.   Reach out.   
I miss you and all your goofy quirks.    I miss our room and I'm fervently praying we get back to our normal soon. 
But for now... clickity click and I'm there.
Love you mucho,
--Mama Geib

1 comment:

  1. Keep juggling, Leigh Anne! You may have to put down (or drop) a ball or two, but you've got this. I'm so glad you decided to write! Writing has helped me a ton, even if no one is reading them. I felt a need to document. Good luck, and know this WILL end, even if we don't know when. Love to you and yours!

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