Not sure what this Circle I speak of is? Click here to be enlightened.
After taking some quiet time for ME to prepare outdoors, I began setting up what would be our Circle. Originally, I had planned to have a family photo as our centerpiece but the more we discussed "Mommy's homework" this week - the more the kids wished to contribute. Below are photos of our talking piece (cardinal) and setup. I deliberately chose the side of the house so that the neighborhood kids would not see us if/when they came out to play.
While drawing what/who made us feel good, it was fun to see the excitement as the talking piece was (for the most part) shared appropriately. It was like a merry-go-round of happiness and art before I really dropped the ball and we got into the ugly stuff.
Nora's feel goods: Mommy, Daddy, Elliot, Curie Wakanda, 12/12's on Spelling tests, snuggles, train spotting with Elliot, nature, science, the new playground at school, going to camp, Minecraft, Gynecology (yea, you read that right - my 7-year-old wants to be a "ladies doctor" as has for years), playing outside (not as a gynecologist), Mrs. Martin, running, Mr. Bare, more nature, Miss Jody, Lorenzo, music, singing, fruit salad and salad made by and eaten with Mommy, Grammy's food.
Elliot's feel goods: Mom, Dad, Nora, Curie, Grammy, PawPaw, Buddy, CSX, Intermodal, Norfolk Southern, Railfanning, people that understand him, people that understand Autism, Bears, Deer, Nature, Hunting, Mrs. Wolfe, Mrs. Macri, Mr. Bare, Mrs. Smith, Art Supplies, Hiking, Alone Time, Snow Days, Sunsets, Swimming, Wet grass and bare feet
While listening to my husband echo a lot of what our children said and seeing them express joy after joy, I started to feel a bit bad about getting into our worries and stressors. Also, while watching everyone draw, it was made abundantly clear that I am not the artist of the family.
As we got into the next part of the plan where we would discuss things that worry/stress us, I was completely moved by a few things my son had to say. My husband had done a drawing (see below) about his concerns over so much farmland in our area being turned into warehouses.
(Side note: Hubs loves to draw, and this took him less than 3 minutes to do)
Nora then shared how she feels when her Daddy is working a lot but also shared the joy of Daddy now working closer to home and us being able to be together more and have more table dinners.
But then there was Elliot. I love his brain. Autism is his SuperPower. You'll notice, there's no drawing. There's a reason. Elliot told me that he felt if he talked about things that worry and upset him, that was okay. But if he drew those things, it gave those things power. A good amount of his worries stem around the very real possibility that President Trump could be elected again. I've started memorizing who has Trump signs where and I avoid those roads when he is in the car with me. If you're pro-Trump and want to stop reading, that's fine. I'm pro-Elliot, and that man scares the piss out of my kids.
Elliot expressed he is worried about the environment and climate change already, and he fears that if President Trump is elected we're "really in for it." And while a majority of my son's life is expressed through art and exploration, he had so much to say. At one point he was holding the talking piece so hard, I thought he was going to shatter it. He worries about Mommy getting sick again and Daddy scooping hair out of the bathtub drain (I HATE that he remembers everything). He worries about trains de-railing, family restaurants going out of business, and the fact that no one seems to talk about the bad side of electric cars. He worries about the health of others, especially his grandparents. He kept going and I wonder if I should have stopped him... but I didn't. As he talked about fears for his brown friends and his gay friends and his farmer friends --- something amazing happened. A red-tailed hawk flew right over us and he SAW it. If you know our little family well, you know we believe in spirit animals and the red-tailed hawk is one of them.
To be honest, after Elliot shared (and shared some more) - I really expected him to just be "done" with this whole process. He wasn't. He sat and listened to us all share and wasn't sure if he broke the rules when he got out of place to comfort his sister.
Nora is worried about the water temperatures in Florida now and the possible destruction of more coral reefs and why no one seems to talk about that, she is worried about the air being bad and the things they put in food, she is worried about bad things happening to her family. She worries that if President Trump is elected that her friends with two mommies and two daddies won't be allowed to have two mommies and two daddies anymore. She worries about going to second grade without Elliot being in the building anymore now that he is going to middle school.
And while my husband and I did share, we took on more of a listening role and at the same time echoed some of the concerns our children shared. While the script/plan may have called for us to draw what we look like when worried/stressed, I found that unnecessary to do considering I could see it.
Instead, we talked about our happy drawings and added to them. We talked about our blessings. We talked about safe people. We talked about school-based counseling and therapy. We talked about love and trust. We talked about standing up for ourselves and others.
We ended with music and our feet planted firmly in the grass... and I found myself in an emotional state I never saw coming. This opportunity was a blessing.
