2019-2020 comes to a close....

As an educator, May is always a tough month.   So much to do before school ends.   So many distractions.   A feeling of a constant tick-tock-tick-tock of the clock.

I found myself feeling an even greater sadness this past month because there are certain activities I do around Memorial Day until the end of the school year.

We typically spend the last week of school focusing on growth. 

Our world is in shambles and there's so much I need to say about so many things... and I just can't find the words because there is true and genuine heartache.  Yes, I'm referring to the protests.  Yes, I'm referring to George Floyd.   Yes, I'm referring to all of it.

I really had to push myself out of the funk and stay away from the news for a bit until I felt more grounded.   Some time in prayer really helps me get there.

The last week of school I did my favorite end of year activity with students even though we weren't together to do it in person. 

Here are some photos from last year...

When I assigned this using the online platform, I wasn't sure what I was going to get.

A rule I've had during "Continuity of Education" was students were ALWAYS allowed to private message a response if they didn't feel comfortable sharing on the forum.

The responses started coming in and they blew me away. 

Basically, students had to fill in the blanks to this statement:

I am not the same (name) as I was in September because I am _______________

Here are some examples of the responses I received:

• ...now a hard worker
• ...more aware and understanding of what is going on in the world around me
• ...a better person
• ...more social even when socially distanced
• ....braver
• ...smarter
• ...more confident
• ...a better reader
• ...aware of prayer and that it does work
• ...a stronger student
• ....more trusting
• ....more aware of my love and appreciation for my teacherss
• ....more positive
• ....more brave
• ...less selfish, more realistic, and a better reader
• ... smarter with my words and actions
• ... able to manage my time properly

And then out of nowhere from a student I surely didn't expect it from... I received a beautiful e-mail about how having my class has changed their heart as well as their mind.   I don't have permission to share the email but this student thanked me for not giving up on them and for taking them from being a book hater to a book hunter.   They went on to tell me about different novels they would like to try and how secure they're feeling now compared to when we met in September.   

These are the moments I love.   

I miss my students so very much and I am praying with all my might that we are all together again soon.

Today, I went into my classroom to grab what I could... I gathered a few things... I packed a bag...

I then walked around the room and cried.   I touched their folders.   I opened their bins.   I read over some of their journals.    I sat down and prayed for each student...

And then.... I left. 

I can not explain it.   All I know is I love these kids and I miss them, and they make all the difference.